Psalm 34 describes God's endless willingness to be called on for help, and how he acts on behalf of those who call.
Favorite verse: "... But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing." (v. 10) Note that those who seek the Lord may still be wanting but will not be left wanting of anything good for them. But also there is patience. One may pray and ask for something they are a) wanting and b) is good for them but God will deliver it in His time which is at the right time. Any sooner or later and it would not befit His intentions for your life.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Seeking Direction: Psalm 32:1-11
These passages focus on the concept that forgiveness brings joy.
"When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long." (v. 3) I have long felt that a mindset of complaint is the result of a lack of thankfulness and also the result of a corrupted outlook. I think this passage is saying something similar, that corrupting force being sin from within, unforgiven and festering because of it. Creating an unsettled, habitually out-of-place sense in our being.
I am not saddled with so much guilt, for that I am glad. But I must remember this and share it with those I encounter who struggle with this kind of pain.
"When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long." (v. 3) I have long felt that a mindset of complaint is the result of a lack of thankfulness and also the result of a corrupted outlook. I think this passage is saying something similar, that corrupting force being sin from within, unforgiven and festering because of it. Creating an unsettled, habitually out-of-place sense in our being.
I am not saddled with so much guilt, for that I am glad. But I must remember this and share it with those I encounter who struggle with this kind of pain.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
On Discouragement: Deuteronomy 31:1-8
This passage has Moses telling Israel and also Joshua not to be discouraged from what lies before them. Remarkably, this is despite Moses being told by God he will not "cross the Jordan," that he may not proceed with his people. An unmitigated expression of faith from Moses.
The "Lord Your God" will "cross before you." (v. 3) God will go before me into those places which I must go but are either afraid or otherwise reluctant to do so. This might be a place or source of great discouragement, upset, etc. It can be a place in the past that I am not able to go but must do so.
"He will destroy these nations before you ..." (v. 3) God will in some way eradicate or otherwise render harmless that which threatens and discourages me. God's total power at work.
"... and you shall dispossess them." (v. 3) Taken as a whole, the sentence implies there is an entity from which you will take what is to be yours but that they wrongly possess. So, as with me being saddled with these entities of my past, they would seem to own my peace and wrongly possess it. God can be relied upon to liberate my peace from such places.
"The Lord will do to them just as He did to Sihon and Og ..." (v. 4) Through God's empowerment, the Israelites completely annihilated Sihon and his people, as well as Og. An unsettling reference to the total violence but it is perhaps so because we look from a mortal view. It has struck me that from God's perspective, death on Earth is of no consequence in his greater scheme. Conversely it is a terrifying thing for those of us who lack the faith in anything other than what is before us. With that said, this passage is simply describing God's total power.
"The Lord will deliver them up before you ..." (v. 5) God will bring them to your feet and empower you to destroy those entities which seek to wrongly possess what is yours.
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." (v. 6) This is the central message to the people to do away with discouragement.
Things you should be: strong, courageous. Things you should not be: afraid, trembling. God is with me, He will not fail or forsake me. I should totally rely on God. He has complete reliability. I can face what discourages me when I follow God into that place, against that source.
Moses then goes on to reiterate this especially for Joshua, detailing to him that it is God who will go ahead of him.
The "Lord Your God" will "cross before you." (v. 3) God will go before me into those places which I must go but are either afraid or otherwise reluctant to do so. This might be a place or source of great discouragement, upset, etc. It can be a place in the past that I am not able to go but must do so.
"He will destroy these nations before you ..." (v. 3) God will in some way eradicate or otherwise render harmless that which threatens and discourages me. God's total power at work.
"... and you shall dispossess them." (v. 3) Taken as a whole, the sentence implies there is an entity from which you will take what is to be yours but that they wrongly possess. So, as with me being saddled with these entities of my past, they would seem to own my peace and wrongly possess it. God can be relied upon to liberate my peace from such places.
"The Lord will do to them just as He did to Sihon and Og ..." (v. 4) Through God's empowerment, the Israelites completely annihilated Sihon and his people, as well as Og. An unsettling reference to the total violence but it is perhaps so because we look from a mortal view. It has struck me that from God's perspective, death on Earth is of no consequence in his greater scheme. Conversely it is a terrifying thing for those of us who lack the faith in anything other than what is before us. With that said, this passage is simply describing God's total power.
"The Lord will deliver them up before you ..." (v. 5) God will bring them to your feet and empower you to destroy those entities which seek to wrongly possess what is yours.
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." (v. 6) This is the central message to the people to do away with discouragement.
Things you should be: strong, courageous. Things you should not be: afraid, trembling. God is with me, He will not fail or forsake me. I should totally rely on God. He has complete reliability. I can face what discourages me when I follow God into that place, against that source.
Moses then goes on to reiterate this especially for Joshua, detailing to him that it is God who will go ahead of him.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Returning
I've decided to return to this endeavor, that being to journal.
A year ago September I got hired by an old friend of mine to do what I do for a lot of money. A month ago, he let me go. I'm tired of working for fools. That was also a profoundly disappointing experience. Anyway, I'm looking for another job. More on that later. It's very confusing because I thought God wanted me there.
I've been dipping in and out of the Bible half-heartedly for the last year. I've been frustrated by a Bible study group that didn't work out, then a friend who wanted to meet but soon after didn't have the time. So I've identified a reading list that will give me some solo progress. Time to assert the discipline to do it.
I will commence the first lesson tomorrow. I will do each lesson and journal my thoughts on the passages.
A year ago September I got hired by an old friend of mine to do what I do for a lot of money. A month ago, he let me go. I'm tired of working for fools. That was also a profoundly disappointing experience. Anyway, I'm looking for another job. More on that later. It's very confusing because I thought God wanted me there.
I've been dipping in and out of the Bible half-heartedly for the last year. I've been frustrated by a Bible study group that didn't work out, then a friend who wanted to meet but soon after didn't have the time. So I've identified a reading list that will give me some solo progress. Time to assert the discipline to do it.
I will commence the first lesson tomorrow. I will do each lesson and journal my thoughts on the passages.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Moving Toward Daily Prayer
One of the first steps toward God and my new life is prayer. This is critical for me. I must establish a dialogue with Him. He has spoken to me recently in a way that is ridiculously obvious and I am reminded of the times He has done this before. I am left wanting to reach back to Him and be consistent about it.
Without getting complicated, here's the bottom line:
1. Start each day with God. Give thanks, make requests for others, make requests for me, and close with thanks; these are my essentials. Keep a log of what I've requested and what has been answered. I believe I will keep a paper log (notebook), but may occasionally update here in some summary form.
2. Conduct my day in a Christian manner. I won't explain this but I know what I mean. I'm basically talking about doing what you should be doing and NOT doing what you should NOT be doing.
3. Conclude each day with God. Give thanks/praise for the day. Kind of finishing it off with a little high five between He and I.
4. Go to bed at a reasonable hour, don't stay up all night like you usually do. Rise early and greet the next day the same way.
Without getting complicated, here's the bottom line:
1. Start each day with God. Give thanks, make requests for others, make requests for me, and close with thanks; these are my essentials. Keep a log of what I've requested and what has been answered. I believe I will keep a paper log (notebook), but may occasionally update here in some summary form.
2. Conduct my day in a Christian manner. I won't explain this but I know what I mean. I'm basically talking about doing what you should be doing and NOT doing what you should NOT be doing.
3. Conclude each day with God. Give thanks/praise for the day. Kind of finishing it off with a little high five between He and I.
4. Go to bed at a reasonable hour, don't stay up all night like you usually do. Rise early and greet the next day the same way.
Take Two
I have failed to do what I set out to accomplish. Further, I have slid into further problems because I have failed to do the things I know I'm supposed to be doing. Finally, I am faced with greater challenges than I have dealt with before and I am not practiced in those things that I know will help me face them.
I have much to do.
I have not quit smoking. For a time, I pushed it down. In the spring, my lungs became inflamed by the pollen and the smoking and I had significant trouble breathing. This has subsided only a little. I currently smoke a little more than half a pack per day now. My wish was to be done by now.
I have become unmotivated and uninterested in what I am doing. I do the minimum at work, which is very little. I spend the rest of the time basically wandering online. At home I am distracted and marginally involved. I have not finished the new website for the church, giving excuses that are received nicely by the staff. This is a condition that started in the spring and has persisted through the summer.
I have come to recognize that when I left my last job just over one year ago, I was set free from a path that was going to destroy me and my family. The problem is that I did not understand this nor did I set it in motion, thus I was - and remain - unprepared to deal with this. Indeed, I have been set completely adrift. I have left and cannot go back to the life I've practiced and built for most of my years (and don't really want to) but I don't know how to move forward and into what.
The stress I have experienced regarding my trying to quit smoking, being set adrift in life and my trouble interfacing with work and family have compounded to create a level of non-stop physical anxiety that has concerned me a great deal - thus compounding the health issue. Truth be told, I am a candidate for a heart attack at this point. Starting in recent weeks, not a day passes where I don't wonder if I'll simply be struck down and collapse right where I stand from time to time. This is a terrible way to live.
What troubles me more than ever is that I know what I need to do and have studied how to do it, but I simply am NOT doing it. Partly for not knowing how to begin, partly for my having never done these things before, partly because what I need to do requires me to retire the illusion that I control my life and circumstances and "give" this control to God. (I mock the idea of giving it to God because it was never mine to begin with).
So, I am drawing a line in the sand. I refuse to be a statistic and I refuse to let my children grow up wondering why their father keeled over in the backyard one Saturday when they were very young.
I am frightened out of my mind. I have never known such terror. I am leaving who I have been since I can remember, leaving me behind or at least stripping away so much of me that what is left will be unrecognizable - but ideally a "better" person. This is change on a scale and to a degree for which I am unprepared and uncomprehending. I simply have no choice but to walk this path with God, daily and intentionally. I have a MASSIVE discipline problem and it has caught up with me. I simply can't go on like this anymore.
The change starts now. I give myself to Him and may He have mercy on me.
I have much to do.
I have not quit smoking. For a time, I pushed it down. In the spring, my lungs became inflamed by the pollen and the smoking and I had significant trouble breathing. This has subsided only a little. I currently smoke a little more than half a pack per day now. My wish was to be done by now.
I have become unmotivated and uninterested in what I am doing. I do the minimum at work, which is very little. I spend the rest of the time basically wandering online. At home I am distracted and marginally involved. I have not finished the new website for the church, giving excuses that are received nicely by the staff. This is a condition that started in the spring and has persisted through the summer.
I have come to recognize that when I left my last job just over one year ago, I was set free from a path that was going to destroy me and my family. The problem is that I did not understand this nor did I set it in motion, thus I was - and remain - unprepared to deal with this. Indeed, I have been set completely adrift. I have left and cannot go back to the life I've practiced and built for most of my years (and don't really want to) but I don't know how to move forward and into what.
The stress I have experienced regarding my trying to quit smoking, being set adrift in life and my trouble interfacing with work and family have compounded to create a level of non-stop physical anxiety that has concerned me a great deal - thus compounding the health issue. Truth be told, I am a candidate for a heart attack at this point. Starting in recent weeks, not a day passes where I don't wonder if I'll simply be struck down and collapse right where I stand from time to time. This is a terrible way to live.
What troubles me more than ever is that I know what I need to do and have studied how to do it, but I simply am NOT doing it. Partly for not knowing how to begin, partly for my having never done these things before, partly because what I need to do requires me to retire the illusion that I control my life and circumstances and "give" this control to God. (I mock the idea of giving it to God because it was never mine to begin with).
So, I am drawing a line in the sand. I refuse to be a statistic and I refuse to let my children grow up wondering why their father keeled over in the backyard one Saturday when they were very young.
I am frightened out of my mind. I have never known such terror. I am leaving who I have been since I can remember, leaving me behind or at least stripping away so much of me that what is left will be unrecognizable - but ideally a "better" person. This is change on a scale and to a degree for which I am unprepared and uncomprehending. I simply have no choice but to walk this path with God, daily and intentionally. I have a MASSIVE discipline problem and it has caught up with me. I simply can't go on like this anymore.
The change starts now. I give myself to Him and may He have mercy on me.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I Choose Differently
It's just before 4:00 p.m. on this Thursday, January 29, 2009. I've just smoked my last cigarette.
I'm still involved in understanding prayer; how it works, how you're supposed to use it, etc. I don't like asking for things so my understanding of prayer may be a little slanted. But I continue to learn and grow, so we'll see. More to the point, I believe that we should first discern what it is that His Spirit intends for us and desire that direction as it is His intention. I view this as falling under a sincere intention to follow Him and discover/adhere to his plan for each of us.
With that said, I just prayed (something I don't do often, unfortunately). I told God that I sincerely believe (which I do) that smoking is not what He intends for me. I believe it is in fact an interruption to my following his intention for me. I asked Him to please guide me through this.
Let me be clear that this is not me testing Him. I am completely accountable and responsible for doing this. I just need His help. Nothing else has worked before. I'm not relying on Him to take smoking from me, nor do I perceive that if I fail it will be because He did not help me. If I fail, it is because I failed.
I've tried to quit cold turkey before and I know what's coming. I'm turning to Him, because I'm upset and afraid of what I know will come upon me over the next 1-2 weeks which will start in about 45 minutes from now when the affects of my last cigarette wear off.
May God have mercy on me. I thank Him for His grace and blessings. I choose life.
I'm still involved in understanding prayer; how it works, how you're supposed to use it, etc. I don't like asking for things so my understanding of prayer may be a little slanted. But I continue to learn and grow, so we'll see. More to the point, I believe that we should first discern what it is that His Spirit intends for us and desire that direction as it is His intention. I view this as falling under a sincere intention to follow Him and discover/adhere to his plan for each of us.
With that said, I just prayed (something I don't do often, unfortunately). I told God that I sincerely believe (which I do) that smoking is not what He intends for me. I believe it is in fact an interruption to my following his intention for me. I asked Him to please guide me through this.
Let me be clear that this is not me testing Him. I am completely accountable and responsible for doing this. I just need His help. Nothing else has worked before. I'm not relying on Him to take smoking from me, nor do I perceive that if I fail it will be because He did not help me. If I fail, it is because I failed.
I've tried to quit cold turkey before and I know what's coming. I'm turning to Him, because I'm upset and afraid of what I know will come upon me over the next 1-2 weeks which will start in about 45 minutes from now when the affects of my last cigarette wear off.
May God have mercy on me. I thank Him for His grace and blessings. I choose life.
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