Losing my Brother, Finding No Friend

I'm moving through a highly challenging time. A few days ago, my brother-in-law (hence to be called "brother") had to move his family away to the other side of the country. The day after, I learned of the location of an old and good friend of mine from days long past, attempted to contact him and was met with cold affront.

I can't emphasize enough how profoundly disappointing both experiences have been. However, my striving to remain attuned to our Lord has led me to an interesting and eyebrow-raising observation. Both incidents occurred nearly simultaneously and both succeeded in delivering a nearly overwhelming sense of loss, despair and bewilderment. These two incidents also paralell each other in obvious, curious ways. For instance, there is clearly some sort of parity or relationship occuring with brother and friend, two relationships that are intensely important to men.

I am near despondency when thinking of the departure of my brother. There is significant history I will skip for now, but suffice to say that he was forced as a member of our military to leave (being re-stationed). We knew a re-stationing was coming and he had requested it be to the same city I, his sister and his parents live in. I prayed on the matter. Tears come even now as I feel that I was to gain the companionship and love that comes in a unique fashion as only it can with a brother, but it has escaped my grasp (as the death of my sister and only blood sibling some ten years ago). I am in despair that this prayer was not answered because I actually work hard not to ask for much in my prayer, lest it imply that I am left incessantly wanting and lacking. Of the piddling few prayers in which I put forth a request, this was the one I wanted more than anything. I, who normally lives in subdued satisfaction and pushes away many wants and needs as frivolous, was starving for my brother. I feel like someone who waits to be picked up by someone they love, but they never come.

As for finding my long-lost friend, it is a jarring experience. I had sought him about four times over the last ten years, each time being met with people who don't reply to emails and other dead-ends. I now find him only to be met with the most tepid response. He was more concerned about making sure I don't come to his house and that we meet outside his home than he was about hearing from me. This pitches me into a dark and unknown territory, uncharted as I am entirely not used to people not wanting to be with me (especially those who were great friends a long time ago). Yes, I know, people change, yadda yadda yadda. But what have I done? Did I slight him in the past and not know it? And if so, will I lose the opportunity to reconcile if he will not communicate this to me? Or has he lost respect for me for some reason, perhaps feeling I am not worth his time any longer? I am driven beyond discipline by these scenarios exploding throughout my mind.

I must calm my heart. Regain focus, regain the introspection that has served me well enough to show me these two experiences - brother and friend - are a veritable billboard in front of me. What is the message, and what action am I to take on this message?