A Most Profound Response

Our pastor at church delivered the most profound, relevant sermon I have experienced in my life so far. Let me preface by saying that our pastor is new and truly outstanding, a robust man of God if there was one. To avoid digression, I will dedicate a separate post to this subject.

In the couple of days before the sermon (which occurred Sunday, July 20), I was grounded spiritually by a gut-punch of bad news regarding the health of my son. In a nutshell, he is not gaining weight at the expected pace and it seems he has a challenge in the uptake of calories. Suffice to say that we can deal with this - in particular, with God's grace - but I had what I shall term a momentary lapse of faith in Him and confidence in myself to engage successfully with this challenge. A debilitating experience, if I may.

The sermon I received was regarding the scripture of Genesis 28:10-19. This scripture discusses Jacob as he is fleeing from his home after deceiving his father to receive the blessing that was to go to his brother. The pastor discussed the fact that despite Jacob's deception, God granted him vast favor. As part of the sermon, the pastor expressed the fact that we're not supposed to go it alone, that we are to draw on Him - perhaps mostly because He is infinitely available and willing provided we bring Him into our heart.

I took this with great gravitas. The Friday night previous to this, I was on my knees in despair, praying and begging for God to take this burden of my son - from both my son and myself as well. I was fully at a loss, both surprised at my inability to handle this health issue, my upset that anything should befall my son, and an overwhelming sense of loneliness that ran roughshod over my pursuit of faith in Him. In short, I felt a billion miles away from anyone and from Him and hadn't any idea how to get back. I hadn't felt that lost and alone in as long as memory serves. This prayer of mine lasted probably 10-15 minutes, filled with tears and a bit of yelling too (I insist on full disclosure here). Never had I prayed this way - ever. When I walked away, I thought to myself (in these words): I can't do this alone. I've been trying to do everything alone. It won't work this time. I don't even know how to not do it alone.

And here comes Sunday morning, and the pastor practically looking straight into my eyes (and my heart), telling us we're not supposed to go it alone. He had more specific words that I wish I could reproduce here, but let it be known that I nearly broke down where I sat (another experience I've never encountered before).

A most profound weekend involving a most profound request, answered in a most profound manner by He who is the most profound. How blessed I am that he reaches out to me with such immediacy. He knows me, knows that I preach and insist patience in awaiting his answers and indications to those around me and to myself. But how incredible, how loving it is that He saw me BREAK and reached me with urgency. Urgency. For me.